Friday, November 12, 2004

I don't really know...;

what's going to happen with all of this stuff.

I'm sick of worrying about people who don't care, about themselves, about me, about anything that's happening in their lives. It's just added heartache that I don't need. Am I a freak or something? Way too over-sensitive maybe? But I can't stop thinking about them (there are a few), and it makes me feel terrible to see it (and I do see it). They're all on a downward spiral and some of them know it, but it's like it doesn't matter, even when they say that it's bad and they feel bad and they don't want to feel bad. It's still all about attention, because when it really comes down to it they never make the changes and so they go on down down doooowwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn and I'm waiting to see which is going to hit the ground first, and I don't know why or how to stop it but it's taking it's toll on me. I'm sick to my stomach thinking about what they spend their days with, what their lives are made up of, what's important to them.

I don't know if this is ever going to get done. Everything is going so slow, it's all taking way way too long. I want to give up, but at the same time.. I know that it's possible with patience, and it's becoming much more of a challenge than a hobby. But so, that's kind of cool, right? I haven't had any challenges in quite some time it might be good for me to try I don't know, but I don't think I should give up just yet?? This post was a lot more serious than I really ever wanted but at this point? Whatever? I don't know... there's too much going on at one time. Maryjane wants to play a game with me, so maybe I'll do that. She's pretty good at lightening up the mood... except, well nevermind that. She's been good. Let's give it a shot.

That's it, that's all there is, there isn't anymore. So, goodnight.

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